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St John's Tunbridge Wells
Tunbridge Wells vicarage was much smaller than Swanage but we had a very nice drawing room very sunny with three windows looking out on garden. We made a large nursery for the babies upstairs and there were 5 bedrooms and 2 attics. I had three maids, nurse, housemaid, cook, all very good; and a good thing, too; for when we first went we had nearly 400 callers, mostly our congregations, nearly all well-to-do people, and all these had to be returned at least once. We had a curate.
Hard work in the parish
Dad was always ready to visit any of the sick people among the poorer section of the parish. This is all he had time for, what with sermons every Sunday and other parochial work. He worked very hard all the 17 years, and many times he nearly broke down; his nerves would get very bad. He never seemed able to cope with the children as they grew older. I don't think he understood them really; but he never failed to pray for them and he would have been happy if they all would have wished to follow in his steps - but only Martin followed.
The children at school
In October 1908, our first year, Victor was a St Lawrence's College, Ramsgate; Stanley went to a little boys' school (Miss Griffiths - two old ladies) and Winnie came at Christmas and went in January to Miss Goldies - Hamilton House. Gradually Howard got old enough for Miss Griffiths. They wore little striped blue and white blazers and caps. Martin too went for a little while and them to Skinners till he was old enough for Tonbridge, where he did very well and at 18 he went to Cambridge.
The turning point in his life seemed to be when we had a Crusaders' week and I put up for the week Commander Panter. He seemed to change after that and became serious about spiritual things; just the working of the Holy Spirit in his heart. All things work together for good. I do not know what prompted me to put up a speaker. I was very busy and Dad thought it would be too much.
Laurence Dyer was a great friend of Martin's. They would spend Christmas together and act together and dance; but after that Crusaders' Mission he gave it up. I think Martin had the best chance of all the children. We did not interfere much with him and had we been the same with Stanley, Win and Howard it might have been better. We were over-conscious, forgetting sometimes "to cast all our care upon Him" "who is able to do for us so much better than we can do. O God, please overrule my many mistakes and bring all my dear children into the fold." "I am the good shepherd; the good shepherd giveth His life for the sheep."
An earnest appeal to my children
Dear children, if you read these few pages after I have passed on to the better world, think seriously and pray to God from your heart and give yourselves to Him if you have not already done so. This has been my prayer through life. God gave me five lovely children, all strong and perfect in limb; one He took away and I believe Victor is in his loving care. All of you must meet me again in the far better land. We know not what it is, but we do know there is a loving Father who gave us life and therefore he loves us and he wants us to love Him. Trust, my dears, and follow in the footsteps of your Saviour Jesus Christ. It is true, perfectly true. Some of our greatest men are true believers and followers of Jesus Christ their Saviour and ours.
And so life went on. Soon Stanley joined Victor at St Lawrence Junior School. Howard went to Rose Hill - Mr H.H.H. Hockey - very good too. Winnie stayed at Hamilton House till 15 years. Then she went to St Mary's Hall for 2 years and then to Hamilton House domestic side and learned dress-making, cooking and so on. This brought us to the year of the Great War, 1914. And now began a very difficult time.
The First World War
The war time from 1914 was terrible. Victor thinking he must join up. Winnie 17 and susceptible, and all the present surrounding crowds of soldiers and officers coming to the town, and we parents not at all ready for all the pitfalls coming to our young ones. Stanley still at school at St Lawrence College, Ramsgate, which soon had to move because of bad air raids - children killed in the streets. When the school moved we put Stanley at Tonbridge and later he had a tutor to coach for army; but 1918 saw the end of war; he did not go on. Howard and Martin were little boys.
Victor's war
1915 We kept on hearing of boys killed whom we knew. Geoff Ward was one. Victor left school and went to Sandhurst. Only a short period was allowed then. I don't think he really liked it, and I am sure he never wanted to fight. He was only 18. He joined Royal Irish (a great mistake, so General Hay said) and he was very, very homesick in Ireland. He lost his nerve and came out of it and home and for a time rest on account of ill health. Then he found a nice job in a private school. Here he was greatly loved. I wish he had stayed, but he thought he ought to be in army, so joined motor cyclists in Dover. How my heart ached. Win and I went and spent a few days in Dover to see him in 1916, and when I left him I was more sad than ever in my life. I never saw him again. Is there not some instinct in a mother that foretells sorrow?
The death of Victor
In May 1916 an air raid was over Dover, and returning after to the Castle my dear Victor came in contact with a motor lorry and he was thrown. His friends took him to hospital, unconscious and bleeding from ears and nose. Shall I ever forget? Poor Dad! The shock was awful to him. He had to go at once to Dover, having received a telegram in early morning of May 21st. I was in bed with an illness. (Victor's life written by his father in separate book) Miscarriage; I was 46. Poor Dad. He arrived only to hear that Victor was dead. He had to identify him at the hospital mortuary.
He came home after making arrangements, and he came at once to me in bed. Oh that meeting! We could not speak. My head was very bad. Something seemed to snap. For a long time Dad could not speak to people he met. Victor was his eldest and more a companion to him. When I had the others to look after, they would go holidays together too.
The funeral was at Tunbridge Wells. He was laid in our church all night. I had to forget my illness. I got up, no doctor could stop me. My poor children looked so miserable to see me sad, so God gave me strength to forget myself and help them. Jess came over. She was always with me in trouble; a good sort, say what people may. I always found her sympathetic, as you shall see later on year 1935.
A crowded vicarage
During the War, after 1917, my mother and May had to come and live with us for a time. It was rather difficult as our house in Tunbridge Wells was not large. Afterwards when Dad got ill and nervy, they had to take rooms in Queen's Road.
An anxious time
In that time Howard returned from New Zealand. He was 21 and out of work for some months. Stanley was preparing to go out to India for the Mercantile Bank, and just as he was going, I had to take Dad away to Brighton; his head was so bad. The worries at that time were very heavy. Winnie trained for secretarial work at Mrs Hosters; it cost us £90 and railway fares and then London work. Altogether things were too much for Dad, with his parish to care for too. I was at my wits' end, and but for prayer and the knowledge that God overrules all, I would have gone under.
Victor was killed in 1916.
I was just before that expecting a baby. I was 45. But instead, a miscarriage, and then Victor's death. Never can it be forgotten.
Worries with Winnie
Winnie had many admirers 1917 and 1918. It was very difficult for her and for us. She wanted to do war work. Did not like nursing, so first she did house work at a small V.A.D. hospital in our parish (Tunbridge Wells). Then went farming, then Food Office, for which she received pay. Afterwards she trained as secretary at Mrs Hosters, London, going up every day. Stanley was also going every day to office of Mercantile Bank for two years. He after that went out to Calcutta. Then Winnie lived in London at G.F.S. Hostel. This I now believe was a mistake. Her associates were not the best. My heart was always aching. I could not feel she was safe. I did not trust or pray with enough faith. God forgive me. Then she fell in with a man we did not like at all. I sent her for a holiday to Switzerland. It took much of my small savings. I did it to try and make her forget this man, who was in no way desirable - never straight.
Stanley, Howard and Winnie go abroad. Winnie's marriage.
In 1923 Stan first left home for the East. What a pang! It was our first parting since Victor's death. He was 23. He was now in the Mercantile Bank of India. Winnie needed brothers to help her, but they went abroad, and not till much later could they be any use. I did not see Stanley for 6 years. Next we parted with Howard, letting him go to New Zealand at the early age of 17. This I think was another mistake; for 10 years I was anxious for him. He was not fit at that time to be on his own. I thought at the time farming would do him good, but no; he did not get robust. In three years he returned home, then Hong Kong - New Zealand - Home - New Zealand with Winnie - lost money - Win went on to Singapore to Stanley and married - this is where the brothers proved useful.
Martin
Martin went to Tonbridge till he was 18. He did well, being head of day house. He was always steady and reliable, a good swimmer; he won many cups (all lost in Warsaw except rose bowl which is here); he had a good school record. From there he went to Queens', Cambridge and took his degree at 21. I went one week with Winnie to see him. My only visit to Cambridge.
Martin cost £1,000. We were greatly helped by Miss Fitch. Mrs Fremlin and Mrs Parton helped us with money when Howard had to come home. We had very kind friends and true ones. Our income was good, but our expenses were heavy - education, servants; Win cost £90 at Mrs Hosters Training College, also railway travelling. Stan had three terms at Cambridge before going to the Bank of India, and then there was travelling to London every day and dinners. We were very glad of help now and then.
William cannot go on
Before we left Tunbridge Wells we had many serious troubles, and after 17 years of hard work Willie could not go on. It made him terribly sad when his children did not do as well as he wished, and he felt he must leave Tunbridge Wells and get fresh surroundings.
So we went to Tiverton in the year 1925, after a really generous send-off by our people at St John's. The presentation was grand. The Byng Hall full of our friends. They gave us two large armchairs and 250 guineas. My heart was nearly breaking. Seventeen years, and to leave all our dear friends: Miss Holmes, Miss Fowell (two of my nicest) and the dear people of my Mothers' Meeting. At last it was over. we went home. I prepared for the great move, and in October 1925 we went to Devon, almost alone, Dad and I. Martin had gone to Cambridge, Winnie in London, Stanley in Malaya, Howard in Hong Kong. It was all overwhelming and sad.
Next chapter
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