The one week-end away was at Bushbury, one of the largest parishes in England in terms of population, having three places of worship in addition to the Parish Church. It is a parish that has experienced renewal and tremendous growth both in numbers and in spirit. My part was to fulfil a crowded teaching programme on Friday evening, Saturday afternoon and evening, and Sunday morning and evening. There was a great sense of fellowship and attendances were excellent. After such a week-end we came away full of thanksgiving for what God is doing in that parish, which we know from experience elswhere is not unique.
At the end of May we set out for a week which combined ministry with holiday. The first Sunday was at Christ Church, Guildford, where again we sensed the spiritual renewal, and the second was at Ashburnham Place, near Battle, where we joined a party from our old parish of St. John's, Blackheath. It was a tremendous joy to meet again many who had been young people in the church when we left there twenty-four years before. The days in between the two week-ends were spent in a quiet spot in Sussex from which we looked up a number of old friends. In July we were at Frinton-on-Sea for the Bible Convention there, to which I had been invited to give Bible readings. I tried to cover the whole story of salvation from Abraham to the Apostle to the Gentiles, under the title: 'Landmarks in the History of the People of God'. We thoroughly enjoyed the week spent with wonderful Christian people. We were back home in time to attend some of the meetings of our own Convention.
In the latter part of the summer I was needed to help out at Kewstoke parish nearby, which was without a vicar, and this several times entailed leading 'Sunday Half-hour' at Pontin's Holiday Camp—quite an experience. In August, as usual, we were at the C.M.J. Conference at High Leigh. It was indeed an exciting Jubilee Year, especially as our parish of Locking had embarked upon a project to build a much-needed church hall, trusting God to supply the money in answer to prayer and by the direct giving of the people. It took me back to similar ventures in my own ministry.
I have told in an earlier chapter of my call to the ministry in 1923, and of my ordination as deacon in 1 930. It took place on 5 October, and on that date in 1980 I kept my jubilee. I well remember the twenty-fifth anniversary in 1955 when I went up to St. Paul's Cathedral from Blackheath to attend the early morning service of holy communion. I was just an anonymous part of a minute congregation. My fiftieth anniversary was to be different. It was the Saturday of our harvest supper in Locking, and our vicar turned the evening into a joyful celebration of my fifty years. A great many people united to put on a superb evening, which gave us tremendous pleasure.
I need not describe the festivities, though a special mention must be made of the two jubilee cakes, made by Noreen Mardon and superbly iced by Mrs. Yvonne Walter. The story of my career was told in icing sugar written on eight sugar medallions: St. John's, Highbury, C.M.J. Warsaw, St. Kevin's, Dublin, Hibernian C.M.S., St. John's, Blackheath, Emmanuel Northwood, St. Andrew's, Oxford, C.M.J., Sheffield, and for good measure Simeon's Trustees. The number was kept to eight by putting the two Irish appointments on one medallion. It was a work of art, much appreciated.
All my former spheres of work had been contacted, and were represented at the supper. For the C.M.J. Bernard Adeney came from headquarters and spoke of my long association with the Society, going back to the time when his father had been leader of the work of C.M.J. in Rumania. The principal of St. John's College, Nottingham, Colin Buchanan, spoke of my varied spheres of service in the College at Highbury, Lingfield, Northwood and Nottingham. While he was on his feet Colin committed the indiscretion of commissioning me to write my memoirs which he would undertake to publish, hence these pages. Alee Motyer spoke of the old days in Dublin. A message was read from St. John's, Blackheath. Gordon Dixon and Jim Cuthbertson both spoke about Northwood days. Sybil Owen spoke for St. Andrew's, Oxford, and also for St. Kevin's. It was an evening of happy memories, and a special joy to have members of our family with us.
The climax was as delightful as it was unexpected. Jack Mardon, on behalf of what must have been a very large number of friends, in Locking and far beyond it, presented me with a cheque, requesting that it should be used for something we would otherwise not be able to do, like another trip to Israel, 'or even to Peru'. Of course we favoured the idea of visiting our missionary family in Lima, and we set about making plans. We had visited the Holy Land a few years before. Six weeks in the sunshine of Peru, seeing the growing work of the church in the diocese in which our son-in-law has been Bishop since Whit-Sunday, 1978, spending Christmas with that part of our family which we normally see only once in four years, all seemed like a dream. And the dream came so near to being fulfilled.
In the event, just when we should have been beginning our holiday, I was in hospital having an operation. Obviously we were disappointed. We had not made the arrangements without much prayer for guidance. Everything seemed so right. But God's answer in the end was 'No', and we were quite sure that his purpose was somehow being worked out in what to us was a sadness. Fortunately the fares, though paid well in advance to take advantage of special concessions, were retrievable, and we hope that we shall be able to do something worthwhile which will also be in keeping with the wishes of the many contributors. The story of the Jubilee and its joys is not complete without recording that our kind vicar had asked me to take the holy communion service the following morning, and to preach both morning and evening at the harvest services. As always I tried to expound the Bible on the harvest theme. In a tape-recorded message which had been played at the harvest supper the previous evening, Lord Coggan had paid me what I regard as the greatest possible compliment: he described me as a 'teacher-preacher'. Perhaps I should reply in the words of an Irish hymn: 'It were my soul's desire.'
As I look back over fifty years of ministry, one thing that stands out in my mind is the reality of conversion. In the classic words of Punch, 'I'm no Billy Graham'! But in a very varied ministry it has been given to me to see the power of the gospel at work in changed lives. I am sure there is no one way of being converted: it does not always happen as suddenly and dramatically as was the case with Saul of Tarsus. In fact each man's path to Christ is unique. I have sometimes outlined the essentials of conversion as fourfold: (a) a sense of need and consequent turning to God in repentance, (b) some grasp of the good news that Christ, by his death and resurrection, has redeemed us, (c) faith, which is both trust and commitment, leading to (d) new life within the church which is Christ's body. I think the whole church, rather than just the minister, is the evangelizing agent, but an evangelizing church will usually grow up around a minister who thinks and acts evangelistically.
I have come across people who have been very unhappy because they could not point to any individuals that they 'won for Christ', and others who could number only a few. But I wonder really if any one person has been responsible for the winning of a single soul. Are we not all in this business together as we fulfil our particular calling within the saving activity of the church? No study is more salutary than that of Paul's metaphor of the body. Let each Christian find what is his or her place in the body, and there function with the gifts God has given.
If I am convinced of the reality of conversion, I am equally sure that the converting message is Jesus Christ and him crucified. By that I do not simply mean that we preach a dying Jesus whose suffering evokes our pity and whose patient endurance inspires us to live better lives. Always in the New Testament the cross is seen in the light of the resurrection. By the resurrection Jesus is declared to be the Son of God: his claims are vindicated. By the resurrection the sacrifice of Christ is seen to be accepted as the 'one, perfect and sufficient sacrifice, oblation and satisfaction for the sins of the whole world'. By the resurrection it was made known that when Jesus cried, 'It is finished', love had won, sin was defeated, and death destroyed. The preaching of the cross is no more popular today than it was in the earliest days of the church, but it is still the power of God unto salvation to everyone who believes.
I have found that to keep the gospel central in one's preaching is not just to reiterate a few truths. The apostle Paul did not shrink from declaring 'the whole counsel of God'. Charles Simeon—a gospel preacher if ever there was one—preached systematically through the whole Bible. The twenty-one volumes of his printed sermons are virtually a commentary on Holy Scripture from Genesis to Revelation. It was the desire to be a 'servant of the word', rather than the devotee of any one theological system, that helped him to avoid the worst pitfalls of the burning controversy of his day between extreme Calvinism and extreme Arminianism. Other differences divide evangelicals today, notably the distinction between those who are identified with the charismatic renewal and those who are not. My own belief is that both sides have much to teach, and I think differences will be resolved when we unite as servants of the word.
It seems to me that members of the Church of England have less excuse than some others for a lack of theological balance. We have the Church's Year to guide us, and with the arrival of the Alternative Service Book we have an even more detailed scheme of teaching suggested. For myself, I could have seen life out with the 1662 Prayer Book, and even with the Authorized Version, though to forego newer translations would be a great deprivation. But I am convinced that our worship needs to be in language generally understood, and I find much that is good and helpful in the new services. What I am against is the tendency in some circles to re-write services and lectionaries according to the whim of the moment. I would allow some latitude in family services, but I believe loyalty to whatever books are legal at the moment (and there is variety enough) is an essential part of churchmanship.
And I would protest loudly that I am a churchman. Of course all evangelicals will want to declare their oneness with all who love our Lord Jesus Christ in sincerity and truth. I personally long for the day when there is outward unity, and I can go to take part in a service of a different character without feeling any barrier of denomination. But I do not feel I serve the cause of unity by soft-pedalling the contribution I have to make as an Anglican. I believe our liturgy to be the best possible safeguard of doctrinal truth and balance. I value the historic ministry as the time-honoured symbol of unity. I think my nine years in the Church of Ireland taught me to value the historic position more than I had done before. Church order is not unimportant.
It will be obvious by now that I owe a considerable debt to the example of Charles Simeon. His friend Daniel Wilson said of him: 'He neither verged towards the great error of over-magnifying the ecclesiastical polity and placing it in the stead of Christ and Salvation, nor towards the opposite extreme of undervaluing the Sacraments and the authority of an Apostolic Episcopacy'. I applaud that position. It sums up very neatly what I hold to be truly evangelical churchmanship. We are to win people for Christ in order that they may take their place in the worshipping and witnessing community which is the world-wide Church. When I was appointed to Emmanuel, Northwood, Dr. Donald Coggan, who had worshipped in the church, wrote to wish me well. He suggested that the need was for a ministry that would win souls in the context of the Prayer Book and the C.M.S. I knew exactly what he meant.
The stress I have laid on the ministry does not mean that I overlook the great truth of the priesthood of all believers, and the part the laity must pay in the life of the church. In every parish in which I have served I have been blessed by a splendid body of laymen and women who quite literally were the church in that place. The variety of their service has been fantastic. Quite recently I have taken part in Locking in the training of four of our men to be readers in the church, and they are now all fully licensed in that capacity. My most recent venture of all is the tutoring of a man, from another parish, who hopes to be ordained to the ministry in due course. Fifty years ago that was the work in which I began, and now I seem to be back full circle!
My so-called 'active' ministry, i.e. till I took my pension in 1972, was forty-two years. Of that period, twenty-five years were spent in the four parishes of St. Kevin, Dublin, St. John, Blackheath, Emmanuel, Northwood, and St. Andrew, Oxford. Four and a half years were spent teaching at Highbury, a little longer as a C.M.J. missionary in Poland, and a total of eight years in missionary organization and deputation (H.C.M.S. and C.M.J.). Perhaps the pattern does not show very clearly. I think the one thing that all have in common is the opportunity each has given for teaching and preaching. Since retirement this has certainly taken precedence over any other form of ministry.
I have sometimes been asked which part of my ministry I have enjoyed most. It is quite impossible to answer such a question. We have been conscious at every stage that we have been in the place of God's choice for us, and that is the only thing that really matters. We have been supremely happy in our home, and this has been the background of our happiness in the work. Retirement has given many opportunities of fulfilment too. If, as the years pass, there is to be a curtailment of work—which is inevitable—then one must remember that to be is more important than to do. We can glorify God by what we are, whether in sickness or in health.
It is a foolish man who does not sometimes reflect upon his end. We evangelicals are known for our doctrine of assurance, the certainty that can be ours in Christ. We believe we are meant to know that our sins are forgiven, and that we are 'accepted in the Beloved'. It is all 'for Christ's sake', not at all because of any goodness of our own.
On this subject I must quote my beloved Charles Simeon again. Shortly before his death he wrote in a letter to a friend:
'It has often been said by persons, and it is with many a very favourite idea, "I shall, at my admission into the divine presence, shout louder than anyone!" / expect it will be far otherwise with me. I expect rather to fall on my face, with the deepest self- abasement, and not even to venture to lift up my eyes, until especially enjoined to do so; and then to sing only with a tremulous and scarcely audible voice, such as in some favoured seasons I have uttered in God's house below, the wonders of redeeming love'.
That seems to me to be a truly evangelical insight.
Charles Wesley could write:
'Bold I approach the eternal throne,
And claim the crown through Christ my own.'
and I am sure Simeon would approve. But the same Charles Wesley
wrote:
'Depth of mercy, can there be
Mercy still reserved for me?
Can my Lord his wrath forbear?
Me, the chief of sinners spare?'
and Simeon would also approve, perhaps even a little more. For he
knew that the highest state which he would ever reach to all eternity
was that which was his already since the day of his conversion, that of
a sinner saved by grace. That same state is open to all who cast
themselves on the infinite, redeeming love of Christ.
I cannot write of these things without a deep sense of unworthiness. I find my place among those who confess themselves 'unprofitable servants'. But God's grace is infinitely greater than our unworthiness. I look back with deep thankfulness for all that is past. God has shown his faithfulness. And I trust his promise when he says: 'He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.'
So the story of my life thus far has come to an end. What the future holds none can tell. As I have reached this point, I have just been studying Psalm 71, an old man's prayer. Not surprisingly, it is 'a mixture of lamentations and expressions of confidence and praise' (A Bible Commentary for Today). I have found in it a word of testimony as one considers the past: 'For you have been my hope, 0 Sovereign Lord, my confidence since my youth' (v.5). Then there is a word of prayer as one thinks of the present: 'Do not cast me away when I am old; do not forsake me when my strength is gone' (v.9). Diminished strength need not necessarily deprive old age of its glory. Finally I have discovered a word of hope for the future: 'Even when I am old and grey, do not forsake me, 0 God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come' (v.18). As one hands over to the next generation one does so with great hope. In token of which I dedicate this small work to my nine grandchildren, with deep affection and earnest prayer.
Postscript - the last years.
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